Heaven sent freedom prescribed

I used to blog so frequently. I think I had a lot more to say. Or, I had more time to say it. Or maybe more motivation to write it. I don’t know. These days, I just lack the interest in this blog that I once had. I mostly blame external factors, but there’s a large part of me that I can’t change right now. The part of me that dictates my moods right now.

I’ve been having a lot of trouble with my neck and migraines recently. The last few weeks, maybe months, I’ve been on a rollercoaster of migraines and general pain. It got to the point where I lost any hope to live a day without one. When you have a migraine for more than a day or two, you start to lose the hope that yes, it will go away. No matter how many drugs and natural remedies like wheat pillows and essential oils you throw at it, it never goes away. It’s always there bubbling under the surface. It’s easy to understand why you lose hope, why you just exist from one day to the next. Existence is not really living and over time, you start to feel that sleep trumps existence any day.

So, I slept. I’d get up for work, with the migraine firmly ensconced in my head and neck, drag myself to work, with limited productivity until I dragged myself home, ate dinner, was crabby for a few hours before I put everyone out of my misery and went to bed. I was so miserable. I stop being interested in pretty much anything I cared about before.

It finally got to the point where I realised that I was suffering needlessly and I made an appointment with my doctor. With migraines, you sometimes act without sense and you become paranoid. It’s part of the condition which I just learned recently. I had put the doctor’s appointment off because in my head, I had made the argument that my doctor would give me a hard time and wouldn’t prescribe the things I needed to get rid of the migraines. But I had to give it a try and see what happened.

The doctor took one look at me and asked two simple questions: “Do you have a migraine right now?” Yes. “How long have you had it for?” Over 10 days, on and off.

I walked out of the surgery with some hope. I have been prescribed a migraine preventative called Sandomigran and given a script for mersyndol forte in the event that they return.

That was last Friday. I have been without a migraine for about 10 days. Ironically, my last migraine was the afternoon of the first tablet. It was a really bad migraine which forced me to bed with two mersyndol fortes at 8pm. It was my last hurrah, as I’ve not had a migraine since. I’ve had auras and all sorts of other symptoms, but no migraine pain, as such. It’s so foreign to me.

The downside to the medication that I can see so far is it increases yours appetite and for some reason, I am finding it hard to wake up properly in the mornings and when I do sleep in, I feel really groggy and achy. It’s all very much trial and error right now, so I’ve got some options still. But to go this long without a migraine feels very surreal to me.

The culmination of no migraines has also been the delivery of our new chiropractic bed which has been heaven sent. I dont think I’ve slept this well in about six years, maybe more. It’s just weird!

So, as I’ve sorted out this problem, other problems can be focussed on and I guess that’s where I am at right now.

The painting at our house continues to occur. The June long weekend really proved productive, but Glen and I nearly killed ourselves painting the master bedroom. Two windows and an unreachable (in parts) wardrobe have proven difficult. However, it’s basically done.

Painting left to do:

• Bathroom, toilet, dining room/kitchen and laundry - all one colour
• computer room, which scares me beyond belief due to the amount of shit Glen continues to hoard in there
• Lounge room repaint - the original paint we rushed to get done on the weekend of settlement has never agreed with me and we’ll be painting over the offending walls - except for the lovely feature wall which stays

Then we’re done. It’s something I can’t quite believe, but it’s almost over if you look at it like that.  At some point, I’ll try to post before and after shots, but I might wait another week because I just lack the motivation and interest. See, this is where I am at - general lack of interest.

Stay tuned.

Mother hen coming home to roost

Thanks to everyone who sent messages and made comments in my blog. It means a lot to know there are people who are reading and who feel compelled to respond. It’s nice to know my blog entries compel some people to respond.

I hopped back on the treadmill yesterday. It’s been a week since I ran and I made the mistake of not stretching afterwards and also taking up Glen’s offer to massage my calves. So, yesterday after I ran, Glen massaged my legs and I stretched and it was good. So, I treadmilled tonight and although I couldn’t manage much running, I did walk a total of 30 minutes, so it’s nothing to be scoffed at.

There’s been a bit of a time lapse in starting this entry. I was interrupted by a phone call from my mother.

A bit of background here. Mum has been developing some health problems which have been severely affecting her life. She has been diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis and something associated with it called Sjogran’s Disease - I think. Anyway, she’s feeling down and it’s becoming harder for her to do things

Glen and I have been talking about this idea for a while and I guess I’ve always known that being the only child, there might come a time when I might need to take care of mum. Afterall, I am the only child and there is no Mr Sam’s Dad. I mean, there is - I am not the product of an immaculate conception and my father is out there somewhere, but I have lost track of him and I dare say, he could give a shit about me. So, I kinda always knew that mum and I would stick together until the end.

So, about two weeks ago, I pitched the idea to Glen who was completely supportive. I pitched it to a friend who also thought it was a good idea and then spoke to our pseudo financial advisor, who said it was a terrific idea.

I pitched the idea of mum selling her home (which she is already doing) and moving down here (which she is already doing) and moving in with us - so to speak. Not literally moving in with us, but the big picture plan is that she will sell her house in BFN, give us the money so that we can buy another place that has big enough land so that we can subdivide and build a townhouse at the back of the house. The townhouse would be mum’s home and we would live semi-separate lives. The benefits for us would be that we would rent out our current property and it would be negatively geared (a concept that I am yet to really get my head around) and that when mum might pass on, we would have the subdivided property that was sellable. We would sell both properties and move to a single house block again. However, we would have earned a nice portfolio of property etc and Mum would benefit from a lot more amenities, being close to us and vice versa and having access to all services, people and opportunities. My intentions were spurned from concern for mum and wanting to be closer to her, not increasing my property portfolio - in case you wondered.

I’ve lived with the fear of losing those I love. I lost a lot of family and friends as a child and I was particularly scarred from the loss of my grandmother and then of my only sister, so you can imagine that I have serious separation anxiety issues. Ask Glen. Maybe he’ll blog about it, who knows.

You know what her response was to this seemingly ‘to good to be true’ offer?

She got shitty and told me that wasn’t going to happen. She thanked me but was emphatic. I was hurt, but I let it drop.

Glen told me to let her think about it and let the topic go for a while. In the meantime, I spoke to my good friend Di, who suggested I write to mum and explain my case. Talk about the positives and the compelling evidence or wahtever. I agreed and had planned to do it. I knew Di was right because my mother can’t go one minute whilst I am pitching an idea without flapping her gums! So, that was the plan.

Skip ahead to tonight when she called and one of the first things she said was, “I’m starting to think you are right about moving there, so alright”. It was more or less a defeated resignation of her next move to a city. She hates cities, she compares Melbourne to Sydney and she hates Sydney. She grew up there and loathed it. But let’s face it, Melbourne is not Sydney and everyone loves Melbourne, don’t they?! hehe

Anyway, it’s a start and I’ll work on mum to realise that she isn’t giving in to the inevitability of moving into a city area. I know she’ll enjoy it and she will find that it’s more suburbia than a city and she will realise that it’s more interesting to her.

So, that’s my news and I have to say, it’s taken me a little while to realise she has said yes, but at the same time, it’s a bitter sweet occasion because she’s not entirely happy about it.

So, maybe I should still write that letter to her? Explain to her that having family nearby is important. Having your mother nearby when you have kids is important. Having your only parent and close relative nearby is good, right?

Right.

I need to pee.

Run Forest Run!

I took delivery of a u-beaut treadmill last week. Did I tell you?

It was purchased from what I thought, was a relatively reliable ebay seller in Australia. In fact, in Melbourne. I thought it would be a done deal once I finally won one of the sought-after suckers! I used my tax money, or part there of.  It seriously took over a month from when I won the item, to when the blasted thing arrived. I was unimpressed, and duly left neutral feedback, because I just couldn’t be bothered leaving negative feedback and dealing with the verbal exchange which would inevitably follow.

Anyway, I digress.

This ebay seller sells many treadmills at different speed levels, capacities and sizes. I, of course, picked the biggest, fastest and most gadgety one available. It told me I could run on it. It told me that it was rated for 200kg - well, well above my current lardness. And no, I am not sharing my current lardness in digit representation.

So, I walked on it last week. I walked and I hurt my legs.

Side note: I have Muscle Compartment Syndrome. It restricts blood flow to the muscles and it feels like my legs are burning. I’m talking serious burning, which then also affects my feet - my left foot went to sleep last week whilst I was walking. I pushed through the pins and needles and everytime I took a step, I looked like Steady Eddy with a gawky limp. Seriously, my left foot was shaking, girating and flapping everytime it wasn’t in use, so to speak.

I haven’t used my treadmill since that fateful night. Revelation, I know. Surprising, not really. I give up easily. I does that good.

Tonight, I went through my weights regime. I did sit ups. Shock horror! I hopped on the treadmill and before I could give it much thought, I pumped up the speed until I was forced to run, well a half arsed jog, at best. But it was running, nonetheless and as I was dying running, I felt good about myself. I felt proud. I decided to jog for one minute, walk for another, and so on and so forth. I did this for 10 minutes and I was suitably stuffed at the end of it.

I’m going to lose weight using the treadmill this way. I just know it. For, as I sit here, I feel my legs slowly dying and declared to Glen, not more than two minutes ago, that if he required me to get out of this chair, he would need to assist me, for I have become decrepid and incapacitated.

But I ran. (Yes, Flock of Seagulls, eat your heart out!) I ran!

The Out Of Towners

Glen and I will be out of town as of tomorrow morning, so this place will be a little quiet and I probably won’t be checking emails, so please don’t fret.

We’re heading up to Newcastle to see this lovely girl and her lovely children, and of course, lovely husband - but he rates last, because I don’t think he blogs, so cannot link to his page! I haven’t seen Snot in about ten years, since she left Australia to start their life in the US. It’s been a long time and I am looking forward to just falling back into the old routine.

We’ll be there until Sunday afternoon, so it’ll be a nice semi-break, of sorts. There’s not a lot that happens in old Newcastle, so we’ll probably become bored rather quickly.

Anyway, see you in a few days.

Happy New Year

I doubt that 2007 brings anything better, but thank god 2006 is over.

A quick recap shows me that:

Multiple run-ins with bitch boss on a power trip whilst employed by a charitable organisation. Decision to leave dump once and for all.

Settled on our house end of February!

Wisdom teeth removed in May.

Scored a job with my current employer in May.

Renovated the kitchen and packed the entire house up to have the floors polished from April through to September.

Sold my first scooter and purchased my dream scooter in October and November.

Brought Miss Aella home in June.

Fell in love with Midget and brought her home not long after in August.
Said goodbye to my best friend in December.

It’s been a busy year. I think I’d like for 2007 to be the year that we settled, got some small things done around the house, sold the car, bought a family car and perhaps think about family. We’ll see.

Merry Christmas everyone and I hope that 2007 brings you new beginnings, a clean slate and renewed hope.

It’s funny. I have so much to write about, but I’m either lacking that spark I need to let the words flow, or I’m just shit out of time. I suspect it’s a case of both. But I did promise to sit and blog about Christmas.

As per tradition in our household, we had gift-giving on Christmas Eve, complete with excited labrador stomping around all over very excited kittens, who thought it was their very own special Christmas, complete with crunchy wrapping paper and boxes to jump into.

I scored big time and although I feel a little spoiled, it’s nothing less than I deserve. Right?

Glen gave me a bread maker, which so far has been used three times. The first time I made a boulder of heavy dough and the other two times, Glen followed the same instructions I followed and produced two very scrumptious loaves of bread. He has now been allocated the role of Bread Maker Extraordinaire and I shall never bake another loaf for I am too demoralised.

Other gifts I received were a set of two cordless phones - more like a gift for both of us, and obviously Glen got more joy from them than me. He said for the remainder of the night, fiddling with the settings, organising voice mail and some speed dial thingy-mes, whilst I slept!

He also gave me an electric oil burner so I can go to sleep at night with it on. I already have one, but it comes with it’s very on 40watt light bulb and not very conducive to sleepages.

I also got the latest Stephen King book, Evermore and Greys Anatomy CDs.

Friends gave me a few other books, John Mayer’s new CD. Mum, who travelled down from home has been buying me things since she arrived. Stuff like bedside touch lamps, a couple of DVDs like Brokeback Mountain etc. You do just realise I just typed Brokebake? Hrm. The brain is not functioning. I’m hoping to pick up The LakeHouse before she goes home and a pair of shoes, but we’ll see how we go. It’s like a big treat when Mum comes to visit. I get spoiled, probably because I usually only see her once a year.

Now that the receiving of gifts has been discussed, I shall quickly touch upon the gift-giving department. Although, we all know it’s not about giving, it’s about the receiving that counts!

I gave Glen a Krups coffee machine. However, he’s had that for a month or so, as I had to order it with his permission. He also got a new wallet (hardly exciting and his excitement, or lack thereof showed) and a FarSide Calendar. Not very exciting, right? He also got a couple of books and Mum purchased a lovely wireless, ADSL2 modem thing-me-jig which he loved. Hrm. It makes the internet go faster, or something…

That’s pretty much it. Christmas Day was spent with a headache - yay for me, and planning for Christmas Day dinner. Turkey was cooked beautifully - very yummy, plus our famous stuffing and warm potato salad with mustard seeds. Mmmmm! Deeeeeelicious. I ate a lot, but I suppose you realised that. And yes, I feel very icky and bloated and shall probably arrive back at work with an extra 10 kilos to mine body.

I’ll possibly post more later about the rest of Mum’s stay, the things we’re been doing etc. Howeve, since I had to get up super early and was kept partially awake by a Zeus cat who wanted cuddles and to be under the blankets beside me all night, I am not yet up to that task and require a can of coke, as a coffee-substitute. Hrm. I hope that I can stay awake during my haircut appointment, which begins in just over an hour. I tend to want to fall asleep during such sessions if I haven’t slept well, so wish me luck that I do not snore.

Check out Glen’s blog about the weather on Christmas Day. As things go with weather, Christmas Day did not feel Christmassy for us Auuuuuussies.

I just blogged to say…

I loooooove you!

And

Merry Christmas!!

I hope Santa brings or has brought you all the good things you wished and dreamed for.

When it quietens down, I’ll share with you my bounty of presents received in true tradition - on Christmas Eve.

Big Hugs!

Sam xx

No time to talk!

The last few days have been a tad busy, and as I sit here, I realise I have things to do, so I will keep this brief.

I’ve got my period. That’s why I’ve had a headache for the last week or so. I can say that, because I know who is reading. Most of you would understand this. My periods seem to be getting worse, more painful etc. It’s disturbing. I need to lose this weight and see if it makes a difference.

I got my scooter on Saturday morning and I love it! It’s large though, but I’ll get used to it. Can’t believe I finally have my dream bike. And yes, I will post photos eventually, i just havent had much chance to. I’ve been having some issues with the helmet and if there is anyone who can comment on this, or email me, please do. It’s giving me headaches, literally. It smooshes my cheeks in and makes me all squinty-eyed. It’s pushing on my jaw, which is then giving me a headache via my neck. It sucks completely. I am wondering whether it’s the wrong sized helmet. It’s a KBC. Hrm. Any thoughts?

We went Christmas shopping today. It completely suck. Can you imagine how difficult it is to buy for people who you dont really know? We were trying to buy for Glen’s family and since we dont see them a hell of a lot, it’s a really pain in the arse. We saw plenty of things that Glen and I would have loved to receive!

Alrght. Gotta get some stuff done. might be a tad quiet this week, as I have a few deadlines at work.

We’re going ridin’ on the freeway…

on a Candy Sonoma Red scooter!

Next weekend, I pick up my little scooter Hee hee Can’t wait!!

Inaugural posting

Just a little howdy hi and welcome if you are reading this. Of course, there’ll be protected entries, but it won’t always be the case

Drop me a comment and let me know you are reading.